Any of the cruise ships was happy to off load me a 50 gallon drum of used vegetable oil from the galley. Hell, they put it right in my truck. I rarely paid for petrol ... I mean diesel ... Damn I have been hanging around those Brits too much.Zoie had one really odd quirk, she loved to clean the house. Zoie said she appreciated the house chores as it gave her instant gratification. All those years aboard ships, or living in hotels with room service, had made her miss the simple task of just basic cleaning. Now some claim what I lack in intelligence, I make up for in stupidity, but no one ever said I was a fool. If Zoie found happiness in doing the dishes, vacuuming, laundry, and dusting, who was I to deny her that joy? Hell, I was going to encourage this behavior as long as I could.Today I had a rare day off, no ships were in port, Mac was at a conference, while nothing at the office needed my attention. Zoie was dressed in what I called her "Cleaning Battle Gear". Scuffed jeans,. But I was so angry andconfused it might have been years before she was able to push through tothe surface. Dressing up for those photos, it unlocked something in me Iknew was there but could never put words to. I mean, I know this probablysounds stupid to you, but until I took those pictures, I never thought Icould actually be pretty! And I thought if everyone saw me as a girl, itwould destroy me. But it didn't. You've no idea how many nights I spentlooking at those photos in our yearbook."I smiled in spite of myself."What?" I used to look at those photos all the time, too. In my revenge fantasy,I would imagine you looking at those pictures and being tormented bythem." Mission accomplished!" she said with a smile. "All this," she said,gesturing to herself, "it's no picnic. Trust me, I've been tormentedplenty." I'm sorry about that." Don't be! I'm not. This is who I'm supposed to be. That punk kid was aself-loathing bully who couldn't see past his own anger. I'm...well, I'mtrying to.
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